Romance novels and movies often depict a woman being completely orgasmic, with no foreplay and only penile penetration.
A survey held in the US suggested that 84 per cent of guys said that their partner experienced orgasms during sex, whereas only 64 per cent of women confessed to actually having experienced the big ‘O’.
Dr Rajan Bhonsle, consultant in sexual medicine, says, “Orgasm is what goes on in the mind of a woman and affects different parts of her brain that are responsible for various emotions — touch, joy and satisfaction. There are two kinds of orgasm — clitoral and vaginal. A clitoral orgasm is achieved by the stimulation of the clitoris and is triggered by the use of fingers, sex toys and masturbation. On the other hand, a vaginal orgasm can be achieved by the stimulation of the vaginal canal which includes the G-spot.”
A study suggested that most women prefer a clitoral orgasm compared to a vaginal orgasm, since it is considered to be satisfying.
Research suggests an approximate 80 per cent of women faked orgasms during vaginal intercourse; at least half of the time. Scientists have been intrigued by women who claim they can think themselves to orgasm when they are completely alone with less or no physical touch involved. In an interview, popstar Lady Gaga said that she can think herself to orgasm whenever she wants!
Orgasm is in the mind of a woman where she reaches a ‘feeling of enough’ — by way of arousal and desire. Dr Prakash Kothari, sex and relationship expert, says, “Men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse while women are more likely to orgasm when they indulge in a variety of sexual acts.”
Forget the rules
“She Comes First”, a book by Ian Kerner that explores women and their sexuality, dispels the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure. The book touches on the less mechanical and more psychological aspects of oral sex and visual fantasies. “Orgasm for a woman is not always physical. It is in the mind. It is not always important for your partner to stimulate you to help you climax. Orgasm can be better achieved by way of sexual fantasies and oral sex,” adds Dr Bhonsle.
Amruta Naik, a 31-year-old housewife says, “Orgasm for me had become restricted to indulging in conventional sex with my partner. This would not satisfy me and I would be forced to fake it.”
Dr Barry Komisaruk, co-author of “The Science of Orgasm” says that women he researched on have thought themselves into a state of bliss, but they did it in different ways to reach orgasm. It would be a combination of breathing exercises, fantasies, imagination and pelvic floor exercises. Says Naik, “I discovered that it was always not important for me to derive orgasm from my partner. Erotic scenes combined with masturbation would make me reach climax better.” Who can ever forget the famous scene from “When Harry met Sally” where Meg Ryan’s character demonstrates how easy it is for a woman to give the impression of pleasure to a bewildered Billy Crystal?
Viva la difference
Books like “Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus”, “His Needs, Her Needs” and “Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti” point out the tremendous differences between men and women psychologically, emotionally as well as sexually.
Someone has rightly said, “Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens!” “Men are stimulated by what they see and this leads them to climax faster compared to women who take much longer to reach climax,” says Dr Bhonsle. “It is not always fear of intimacy, insecurity or boredom that leads a woman to fake an orgasm. Often, men leave their women unsatisfied once they are done and this is a core reason why they cannot reach orgasm,” says Dr Kothari.
So guys, it’s time to get down to the crux of the matter.